"Yeah you can touch them, that's the whole point. Go ahead, give the girls a squeeze..."
"Woah, stop, stop, stop. What the fuck are you doing? It's like you're trying to honk a bicycle horn. I know you haven't been having much luck with the ladies, and I agreed to turn myself into this chick--who is way out of your league, by the way--so you could practice and get your confidence up, but damn dude! Have you ever even gotten past second base?"
"Ok, come on, calm down. I'm the only one allowed to be a bitch right now, got it? Let's reset everything and I'll take the lead for a while until you feel ready to make a move. Jeez, the things I'll do for a friend in need..."