Were You Naughty Or Nice This Year?

Hi there, faithful readers! Hopefully Santa was good to you this year. Sorry about the lack of posting recently! I've been a little... tied up with other things.

I'm going to fire up the ol' caption engine again in 2020, on a more relaxed posting schedule. I genuinely enjoy the creative outlet, but my old self-imposed schedule made it feel like work when it should have been fun. Let's make this fun together in the new year! Once we're up and running a little, I'll try and put out some polls and other feedback tools to see what you fine folks want to read. If I wanted to do this just for myself, I'd print out my posts and tape them to the wall, as a totally normal, non-crazy person might do.

So strap in, strap on, and stay tuned!

Like Herding Cats

"Here, let's try this one."

"No, you idiot, that spell made our boobs grow."

"Yeah, but Kyle's are bigger than mine."

"Hey, I found one that turns a man into your sex slave."

"How on earth is that going to help us?"

"We could try it, you know, just to see what happens."

"Nobody is turning anybody into their sex slave!"

"Can we at least take a break and make out some more?"

"God, you guys are impossible! Fine, we can make out for five minutes, then we have to keep working on changing back. No orgies this time!"

Fashion Lesson

I stood there, still thinking this had to be some sort of hallucination. I wrapped my arm around my beach ball-sized tits, trying to lift them. For a hallucination, it sure was killing my back.

My girlfriend smirked. "I'm waiting."

Need to Relax

Alright, there's a cute guy by himself. I'll just go over and start a casual conversation. Here I go... nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Abort! Turn around before--oh crap. He saw me.

OK, gotta relax. Quit walking like a freaking robot. How do girls normally walk? Oh my god, I forgot how to walk.

No. Calm down. Breathe.

You're on vacation. Nobody knows you. As far as everyone else is concerned, you're just another hot babe, ready to have a good time.

Oof, I'm still not used to the way these boobs bounce along with every step I take. And why does my bikini keep trying to wedge its way up my ass? Come on now, don't be distracted. Just open your mouth and say the first thing that comes into your head.

"Hi there! I'm Jim...antha. Jimantha." OH MY GOD, I HATE MY STUPID BRAIN.

"Oh, that's, um... that's a really pretty name. I'm Bryce. Do you want to get a drink or something?"

Yes, all of the alcohol please. Hey, is he staring at my chest? Nice! Wait, now he's staring at my face. Oh no, how long has he been waiting for me to respond?

"I'll have sex on the beach! I mean, the drink. A sex on the beach. I'm not saying I'll have sex on the beach. Not that I wouldn't, though! I'm--we just met. But maybe we could, if... Let's go start drinking, please!"

Locked Out

I knocked again, a little harder and a little more urgently. "Ha ha, really funny babe. Come on, let me in."

Still no answer as I stood alone in the hallway. I could feel my nipples fighting against the fishnet top my wife had packed, as the air conditioning sent a chill down my spine.

What if someone caught me like this? They'd see a sexy woman, all but completely naked, ready for a night of steamy passion with her husband.

They wouldn't know that this woman had never been with a man. That when she climbed on top of his stiff penis, it would be the first time she'd ever felt her vagina filled and then pounded. That when she moaned in pleasure and screamed in ecstasy, it would be from her very first female orgasm.

I shivered again, although not from the cold. I watched my chest rise and fall with each heavy breath before pounding one more time against the door.

"I swear to god, if you don't open up right now, I'm going to start knocking on other doors until someone else does!"

Mommy Issues

I stormed out of the bathroom and into our rented master bedroom. "What the actual fuck, Taylor?"

"You don't like it?" my girlfriend asked, lip curled in a pout. "You agreed we'd use my magic for a little kinky lesbian sex while we were on vacation."

Even as pissed off as I was, she was still crazy hot. I wore the same outfit as her, a bra and pair of panties, but I also wore something much less sexy: the body of my mother. "No, of course I don't like it! I don't want to be in my mom's body, PERIOD, much less for anything in bed!"

Not Again!!

Brrr, it's chilly all of a sudden. What the-- where are my pants?

Oh, hell no. Tiny black skirt... goddamn tits on my chest... and how does she have so much fucking hair??

That's three times this month, and I'm sick of it. She swaps us whenever she feels like it, with no warning and no consideration! It just makes me so MAD! I can't take it any more!!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Fair Warning

I know what's going through your mind right now. All you're thinking about is the redhead with the huge cans, stripping in bed, waiting for you to fuck her. And you're right, I do want you to fuck me. God, do I want it, and badly. But you don't know the full story. The truth is, I used to be a guy, just like you.

Something More Original Than "Fish Story"

"AAAAAHHH!!!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs, partly from losing my balance and falling over backwards, but mostly from the FUCKING FISH TAIL that had suddenly replaced my lower half.

"WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?!?" I stared in shock, watching the blue scales shimmer as my fins slapped against the side of the tub.

My best friend Patrick flipped frantically through the pages of the old book he'd brought with him. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. That should have changed you back!"

"Well, obviously it didn't! These things--" I cupped my boobs and lifted them for emphasis, "--were bad enough, but what am I supposed to do with no legs?"

Patrick's eyes darted around the room, clearly trying not to stare and doing a terrible job at it. "Just, um, stay here. I'll fix it, I promise!"

He shuffled out of the room, and I began drawing a bath. "Not like I could go very far if I wanted," I grumbled to myself. I relaxed slightly as the water started to splash around me. I even started humming a melody, before stifling a laugh when I recognized the tune.

"This may take a while," I said to myself as I slowly untied my bikini top. "Might as well take a look under the C-cups."

Hiatus

As you may have noticed, I've missed a few updates recently. I was not hit by a bus, nor was I trapped in the body of a stripper a thousand miles from home, forced to dance night after night until I had enough money for a bus ticket.

I was honestly just busy with regular life and feeling a bit burned out. I want to feel excited about what I'm doing, not stressed about meeting deadlines or posting work I'm not proud of.

That said, I'm going to step away from scheduled posting for a bit, and hopefully come back recharged with some fresh ideas. I may throw up a new post here and there if inspiration strikes.

Thanks to everyone who's stopped by to take a peek inside my twisted little brain!

The Race

"Alright, the rules are simple. First one to orgasm gets to go back to their male body, while the loser has to stay female and do whatever the other wants."

"Yeah, I'm still not so sure about this."

"OK, fine. The winner gets to stay female. On your mark, get set, go!"

Busting Out

"You know what, I don't even care that you turned me into a girl. That's just how few fucks I give about you."

"Fuck you. For my second wish, I wish Brad would grow a pair of, just, like, stupidly big tits."

"Wow, way to waste another wish. If I didn't care before, what-- oh, shit. Goddamn this shirt is tight! Can't breath... have to... urghhh-- ooohhh, that's better."

"I'll say it is!"

Learning His Lesson

I'd blown every penny I'd made from my crappy job, but it was all worth it. There I was, Mrs. Pine's naked body smiling back at me from her bathroom mirror. She might have been a little bit older, but damn if she wasn't still one of the hottest teachers at my school.

When I got back to my own body, these pictures would make me a god among my classmates and give me wanking material for the rest of the year. I felt her nipples--my nipples for the next few hours--stiffen up at the thought.

Mixing Up The Calendar

"Yes, the owners of this home are looking to downsize now that their children have moved out. If you'll follow me into the-- oh my god!!"

"Holy fu-- Barb! I thought you weren't showing the house until tomorrow!"

"Babe, just relax, there's no need to be embarrassed. Hi folks, I'm Norman! My wife and I are happy to answer any questions. Let me know if anyone would like to see the bedrooms!"

Not the Girl of His Dreams

I'd wanted to be a woman my whole life. I knew it was impossible, but that didn't mean it couldn't be a fun fantasy all the same. Then, one day, out of nowhere, I got the letter.

It had no signature, no return address, nothing to trace it back to anyone. But it was addressed to me, and my eyes widened as I read.

Nothing Suspicious Here

Oh, hi there! I didn't think you were getting back until tomorrow night.

What? No, of course I haven't been drinking your fitness shakes. You couldn't have been more clear, they're for women only. I'm just grabbing, a, um, a beer.

Oh, by the way, the strangest thing happened while you were away. Your dresser popped open, all by itself, and a purple vibrator fell out. Then, it rolled down the hallway into my room and somehow bounced up on my nightstand. I could hardly believe it!

Say, one more thing. Did you happen to go through a lesbian phase in college at all? Just curious.

Sincere Apologies

"Hey James, I-- oh come on! We talked about this!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable that I'm stuck with this body."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. Can you at least do this in your room or something?"

"That's one idea. Or what if I did this instead? Ohhh, come here big boy. My pussy is soaking wet and I just need your big, juicy cock to fill it all up!" 

"I, um, uh... I have to go."

"Mmm, no, come back and give me a nice hard fucking! No, James, seriously, come back! Dammit, what does a guy have to do to get laid around here?

No Logical Explanation

"Oh my god, I gained another two pounds this week! I don't understand, I've been eating super healthy!"

"You-- wait, you really don't get it?"

"No! I know girls always talk about how hard it is to lose weight, but there's still no way I should be getting this fat!"

"You're not getting fat, you're... oof. Tell me, where do you feel like you've been getting bigger?"

"First of all, rude. But I guess it's mostly been my gut. Although some has definitely gone to my boobs, so that's nice."

"OK. And what was literally the first thing we did after you convinced me who you really were?"

"Hehe. Oh man, we did it so many times that night! I had a brand new pussy, and I was too sore to use it for the next three days."

"Yeah, it was a lot of sex. Last question: how many times have you gotten your period since you became a girl?"

"My period? I guess I didn't think of that. I haven't-- ohhh... Oh, FUCK!!"

Cooling Off

"Oh man, it's soooo hot today. I think I'll just cool myself off with this hose here!"

"Dammit Bill, knock it off! You don't know what else that tainted water might do to you!"

"What, you're worried I might turn into a woman? A little late for that."

"Yeah, I know, but still... you've been acting weird."

"You mean acting sexy? Haha, I'm just having fun! Don't you like watching the water flow down my new ass?"

"I-- um--"

"Ohh, I get it! You want a sexy girl body of your own! Why didn't you say so?"

"What?!? No! Bill, get away from me with that hose!!"

Can't Help It

The photographer popped out from behind his camera. "Hey, Phil, you're doing it again."

My lips curled even further upwards. "Sorry, I can't go two minutes without smiling ever since I changed."

"I get it, every former guy I work with says the same thing. But I need to get some good shots. Can you pretend to be upset about being half naked and tied to the wall?"

My pussy tingled at the thought and my nipples strained against the skintight fabric of my bodysuit. "Not when you put it that way!"

A Friendly Wager

"It really is a nice table. You're a moron for buying it, but you could've done worse." Michelle and I had been friends ever since we were kids, so it was no surprise when she gave me shit about the old pool table I'd bought secondhand.

Some Excuse

Even after becoming a girl, TJ refused to give up his collection of dirty magazines. Now that he can see a naked woman any time he wants, opening up a nude centerfold has lost some of its thrill.

Lately, TJ has actually been doing the thing every guy uses as an excuse: he's reading the articles. This issue in particular includes a feature he finds extremely interesting. The title is "Try These Tips to Give Your Girl a Mind-Blowing Orgasm!"

"Light"-weight

"Those guys I was dancing with, they were SO friendly! We should go dance more, Kyle!"

"Yup, but it's closing time, remember?" I murmured while trying to move the drunk girl's legs away from the door. The sooner I could close it, the sooner we could put an end to this bonkers night.

Sharing With Friends

My phone buzzed. Another message from Gary. "Jesus fucking Christ," I muttered.

A week ago, my best friend of 40 years started going through some... changes. Now he had the body of a teenage girl and was sending me things like "I'm waiting for you. Be my first?"

Broken Promises

By the time I felt him tensing up, it was too late.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

He just grinned sheepishly as cum dribbled down my chin. "Right, like you wouldn't have done the same thing."

"No, asshole, I wouldn't have! We had a deal: you'd give me the concert tickets if I let you turn into a girl and suck you off, but you swore you wouldn't come in my mouth!"

"Yeah, I guess I lied. In fact, I never had any intention of giving you the tickets. How about this for a new deal: you go to the concert with me as my sexy date and blow me again after, and then I'll change you back?"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?"

Initiation

"Oh, I think I can see his little titties starting to grow!"

That was the last thing a guy wanted to hear, but I didn't have much choice. Frankly, in my current state, jerking off a complete stranger, I wasn't much of a guy anymore anyways.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I broke up with Alicia about a month ago. Our sex life was insanely hot, but I guess part of that was due to her being, well, insane. We didn't have much else in common, so I ended it.

Alicia didn't like that. At all.

Unfair Advantage

When one of the top executives at TransformaGen Bioengineering announced his retirement, everyone knew that either Chad or Greg would be tapped to replace him. The winner of the promotion would work directly under the CEO, and neither was afraid to play dirty.

It started with harmless pranks, but quickly grew out of hand. The two finally agreed to stop after an "industrial accident" exposed Chad to the company's prototype sex-changing compound and left him as a 5'4" blonde woman. Greg had hoped the stunt would give him a leg up while the lab worked on a reversal. Instead, Chad came to work the very next day, flipped Greg off with freshly-painted fingernails, and delivered a flawless presentation.

Unfortunately for Chad, Greg had one more trick up his sleeve, which he delivered at the next management social hour. Chad looked up from his expanding chest to see Greg snickering in the corner. "We had a truce, you cheating fucker! Not only that, I actually liked this outfit!"

Unfortunately for Greg, his best efforts weren't good enough, and Chad is the one working under the CEO. Of course, the lab hasn't found a way to reverse the changes, and rumor has it, he's been "working under" the CEO every night this week!

Just Stretching

I turned my head as I heard him stop in the doorway. "Oh hey, Logan, I'm just getting your mom's yoga routine in. Did you know she's crazy flexible?"

"Yeah, that's um, that's great, Carter. I just don't really need to see a demonstration, OK?" He turned his face--my old face--in embarrassment. I loved it.

Quintuplets

It all started with us hanging out in the woods on the south edge of town last night, like we did every Friday. Most nights, we were a bunch of teenage nobodies with nothing better to do. This time, Cooper found something on the way to our usual spot (by which I mean he tripped over the stupid thing).

Friendly Joggers

I can't believe how much friendlier everyone seems after my transformation. Every guy I've passed on the trail today has had such a big smile on their face!

Don't Mess With Tradition

I learned a lot in my first month working at Parker & Schmidt. Sales tricks, ways to play the legal system, and, oh yeah, how to squeeze my tits into a low-cut dress. You might call that last bit unprofessional, especially since I was a dude on my first day, but every new hire gets initiated this way.

Don't Think About It

OK, when I open my eyes, I'm going to be back in my own body, instead of my daughter's, and I'm going to be fully clothed, and I'm never going to think about this again.

Enjoying His Vacation

I'd been begging the universe for a break, some kind of vacation from my busy life. I have to say, it was a little disturbing that it came in the form of randomly waking up as a 30-something housewife.

Sitting to pee was bizarre. I quickly discovered that I was married (to a man!). But the worst thing was the constant, aching horniness.

Don't get me wrong, I had been plenty horny as a guy. That was easy enough to deal with, though. You go home, grab 5 minutes of private time in the bathroom, and boom, you're done. As a woman...

Apparently, my new husband was used to his wife's "needs", but I'd taken it to another level. Ironically, I ended up getting my vacation because of it. It's not quite what I'd envisioned, but I'll take it. Speaking of taking it, I hope he's ready for another round.

Hey guys, bad news. I left my browser open and my wife found everything. All my captions, saved pictures, bookmarks... Not good. My stomach is rolling over right now I'm so anxious. I'm typing this on my phone from the other room. Hoping I can calm her down. Not sure if I should try to blame it on a virus or something or just tell her the truth.

Crap, she's coming back  Hitting post wish me luck

Update: great news! Click here ;)

In Charge

"I don't see any reason I should do what you want," I growled, trying to seem tough in my compromised state.

"Because if you don't, I can do this," Emma replied as she tapped her phone.

"Do whaaaAAAaaooooohhh--"

I collapsed into my chair and smacked the table as an electrifying orgasm surged through me. I probably might have enjoyed it, if it weren't for the fact that I was in my own mother's body.

Joke's On Them

If you spotted these ladies out on the town, you'd probably assume they were two girlfriends catching up over a few glasses of wine. Of course, if you overheard any of their conversation, you'd learn a much different story.

The woman in purple, showing off her smooth, creamy legs, burst into laughter. "I just got a text from Jamie. They're at the park wondering where we are!"

The woman in green nearly choked on her drink as she joined the giggle fit. "Are you serious? I thought for sure they were planning to skip town and leave us 'stuck' like this!"

"I know! Do they honestly think I'd give up these puppies without a fight?" asked the first woman, as she gave her breasts a squeeze.

"They're probably going to be upset," her friend mused as she played with a long lock of hair. "In an hour, this is permanent."

"Oh, please. We'll spread our legs one time, and they'll never bring it up again."

"If that's the case, I hope they bring it up every night!"

Give It A Try

"So then I took his dick, and-- yeah, just squeeze your tits around it, like that," the brunette instructed while guiding the shower wand between her voluptuous friends cleavage. "He only made it about five pumps before he couldn't wait any longer."

"Dude, I still can't believe you're fucking guys."

A Friend In Need

Noah and I had been friends since third grade, so it killed me to think he'd be leaving for college in the fall as a virgin. I don't think he's ever even kissed a girl. He's a great guy, but he has absolutely no confidence around the opposite sex.

Given that my dad is somehow a genius inventor with dozens of government contracts, while simultaneously using the easiest passwords to crack, it didn't take me long to come up with a solution.

Heavy Competition

In an effort to boost spring break tourism, the town of Crystal Beach organized a gender bender bikini contest with a $1000 grand prize.

Unfortunately for most of the men, only the winner was allowed to change back afterwards.

Fortunately for the rest, the response was so great that multiple categories were added the next year. Looks like an impressive turnout in the pregnant division...

Rough Breakup

"And anotherr thing... being a chick? Not that fuckin' bad. I didn't have to-- I didn't buy one goddamn drink all day!"

100 Posts!

Hi everybody! As you can tell by the title of this post, or counting each post on my site individually, this is #100!

To celebrate, I've decided to share some GENUINE user reviews!

"But Whiskers," you say, "you haven't posted 100 actual captions. A few have been general blog updates, so really you should wait until--"

Darkness washes over you as I hold the damp rag to your face. The fumes smell sweet, but they make you incredibly dizzy. You slump down onto the floor and pass out as the changes take place.


Sorry about that. Just sleep it off, I'm sure you'll feel like a brand new person when you wake up.

Thank you to everyone for visiting!

Nothing to Say

"Hello, Jaden. What's the matter, cat got your tongue? I tell you what, if you want to turn back into a man and leave, just say so!"

"..."

"Oh, that's right, you're not allowed to speak without my explicit permission. That must be so frustrating! Guess you'll have to settle for another night of pleasuring me!"

An Impossible Task

"You know, I have such a pretty face. Would it kill you to smile a little?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just hard to be cheery when I've been carrying your TITS around all week!"

That earned me a disapproving look. "Don't forget, I could make this much worse for you."

The Same Old Mistake

A while back, I'd gotten myself stuck in my stepmom Karen's body. Due to a slight incident involving me masturbating into her panties, she had taken the extreme step of turning me into a copy of herself. Eventually, she changed me back, and I swore I'd never let it happen again.

Not "Haha Funny"

Life is funny sometimes. For instance, at the beginning of the year, I was a normal, perfectly average guy. Then I started feeling weird one day, and next thing I know, my doctor says I'm going through second puberty. I'd barely finished the first one, now I had to go through it again as a girl?

I knew it was pointless to resist, since no one knew how to stop it, much less reverse it. Still, you find yourself dealing with things you'd never have imagined before, like what your new name is going to be (mine's Izzy, by the way).

Of course, if you come from a family of chesty women, you also get used to saying: "Mom, I need to go bra shopping again!"

Final Fantasy XXX

"Are you sure this is going to work?" asked the costumed brunette as we approached the door.

"For the hundredth time, yes. Don't get your panties in a knot." Ethan glowered at me.

Big Mistake

<<Sorry, still not telling you where I hid it.>>

<<Come on Karen! You've been gone for almost a week!>>

<<And I'll stay gone until I think you've learned your lesson. Later!>>

Takes One to Know One

Oh come on, sis, let me get one good picture of that adorable baby bump!

I'll admit, turning you into a girl as punishment for calling me a slut was probably an overreaction. It took me a while to forgive you, but I honestly came over today intending to change you back. I guess that ship has sailed, but on the bright side, I'm going to be an auntie!

I just can't believe my little brother is a bigger slut than I ever was!

Everyone is Adjusting Well

James couldn't believe the adorable girl sitting in front of him used to be his male best friend Ben.

"So... you wanted this to happen? And you're actually happy about it?"

Trouble in Threes - Part 2

My first instinct was to beg Ms. Halwell to undo whatever she had done. Whether she was out or just ignoring me, no one responded to my frantic pounding on her door. With Dave and Tony's fate in my hands, my only other idea was to check the library for answers. This proved fruitless, because where do you even look for a book on reversing the effects of a cursed cupcake? Self-help? Cookbooks? Black Magic for Dummies? Defeated, I wandered home once again.

Trouble in Threes - Part 1

My mom was superstitious and always said trouble came in threes. I used to roll my eyes when she said that, but recent events have made me wonder if she was right.