"Hey Dylan? I wanna be super serious with you, alright?"
"Yeah man, like... no prolem. Wass up?"
"OK, this is exactly what I want to talk about. You know that body can't handle liquor like your regular one, right?"
"Yeah, totally."
"Aaand, when we get too drunk, we make bad decisions, right?"
"Are you stil mad about that guy from las night? I'll be quieter next time, god."
"No, I'm not--"
"You could get laid too you know, for real. You're kinda short but you have great tits. Look at 'em! If I felt any attraction for girls right now, I would eat you out soo hard. God I love that this is a nude beach."
"*Sigh*... OK, look. I get that you're having fun. But remember: every time you-- hey, look at me! Every time you have sex, it adds another week before you'll change back."
"Don't be jealous, you can toally catch up."
"Look, I'm not jealous, I'm just--"
"Aright, shut up for a second... So if it's eight. No, wait, if it's nine, but the first one was a blow jay and the last one was in my butt. How long do I still have boobs?"
"Dylan, you absolute slu--"
"Oh shit, they're doing shots at the tiki bar!"
