Oh, hi there! I didn't think you were getting back until tomorrow night.What? No, of course I haven't been drinking your fitness shakes. You couldn't have been more clear, they're for women only. I'm just grabbing, a, um, a beer.
Oh, by the way, the strangest thing happened while you were away. Your dresser popped open, all by itself, and a purple vibrator fell out. Then, it rolled down the hallway into my room and somehow bounced up on my nightstand. I could hardly believe it!
Say, one more thing. Did you happen to go through a lesbian phase in college at all? Just curious.
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