Like Herding Cats

"Here, let's try this one."

"No, you idiot, that spell made our boobs grow."

"Yeah, but Kyle's are bigger than mine."

"Hey, I found one that turns a man into your sex slave."

"How on earth is that going to help us?"

"We could try it, you know, just to see what happens."

"Nobody is turning anybody into their sex slave!"

"Can we at least take a break and make out some more?"

"God, you guys are impossible! Fine, we can make out for five minutes, then we have to keep working on changing back. No orgies this time!"

Fashion Lesson

I stood there, still thinking this had to be some sort of hallucination. I wrapped my arm around my beach ball-sized tits, trying to lift them. For a hallucination, it sure was killing my back.

My girlfriend smirked. "I'm waiting."

Need to Relax

Alright, there's a cute guy by himself. I'll just go over and start a casual conversation. Here I go... nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Abort! Turn around before--oh crap. He saw me.

OK, gotta relax. Quit walking like a freaking robot. How do girls normally walk? Oh my god, I forgot how to walk.

No. Calm down. Breathe.

You're on vacation. Nobody knows you. As far as everyone else is concerned, you're just another hot babe, ready to have a good time.

Oof, I'm still not used to the way these boobs bounce along with every step I take. And why does my bikini keep trying to wedge its way up my ass? Come on now, don't be distracted. Just open your mouth and say the first thing that comes into your head.

"Hi there! I'm Jim...antha. Jimantha." OH MY GOD, I HATE MY STUPID BRAIN.

"Oh, that's, um... that's a really pretty name. I'm Bryce. Do you want to get a drink or something?"

Yes, all of the alcohol please. Hey, is he staring at my chest? Nice! Wait, now he's staring at my face. Oh no, how long has he been waiting for me to respond?

"I'll have sex on the beach! I mean, the drink. A sex on the beach. I'm not saying I'll have sex on the beach. Not that I wouldn't, though! I'm--we just met. But maybe we could, if... Let's go start drinking, please!"

Locked Out

I knocked again, a little harder and a little more urgently. "Ha ha, really funny babe. Come on, let me in."

Still no answer as I stood alone in the hallway. I could feel my nipples fighting against the fishnet top my wife had packed, as the air conditioning sent a chill down my spine.

What if someone caught me like this? They'd see a sexy woman, all but completely naked, ready for a night of steamy passion with her husband.

They wouldn't know that this woman had never been with a man. That when she climbed on top of his stiff penis, it would be the first time she'd ever felt her vagina filled and then pounded. That when she moaned in pleasure and screamed in ecstasy, it would be from her very first female orgasm.

I shivered again, although not from the cold. I watched my chest rise and fall with each heavy breath before pounding one more time against the door.

"I swear to god, if you don't open up right now, I'm going to start knocking on other doors until someone else does!"

Mommy Issues

I stormed out of the bathroom and into our rented master bedroom. "What the actual fuck, Taylor?"

"You don't like it?" my girlfriend asked, lip curled in a pout. "You agreed we'd use my magic for a little kinky lesbian sex while we were on vacation."

Even as pissed off as I was, she was still crazy hot. I wore the same outfit as her, a bra and pair of panties, but I also wore something much less sexy: the body of my mother. "No, of course I don't like it! I don't want to be in my mom's body, PERIOD, much less for anything in bed!"