Need to Relax

Alright, there's a cute guy by himself. I'll just go over and start a casual conversation. Here I go... nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Abort! Turn around before--oh crap. He saw me.

OK, gotta relax. Quit walking like a freaking robot. How do girls normally walk? Oh my god, I forgot how to walk.

No. Calm down. Breathe.

You're on vacation. Nobody knows you. As far as everyone else is concerned, you're just another hot babe, ready to have a good time.

Oof, I'm still not used to the way these boobs bounce along with every step I take. And why does my bikini keep trying to wedge its way up my ass? Come on now, don't be distracted. Just open your mouth and say the first thing that comes into your head.

"Hi there! I'm Jim...antha. Jimantha." OH MY GOD, I HATE MY STUPID BRAIN.

"Oh, that's, um... that's a really pretty name. I'm Bryce. Do you want to get a drink or something?"

Yes, all of the alcohol please. Hey, is he staring at my chest? Nice! Wait, now he's staring at my face. Oh no, how long has he been waiting for me to respond?

"I'll have sex on the beach! I mean, the drink. A sex on the beach. I'm not saying I'll have sex on the beach. Not that I wouldn't, though! I'm--we just met. But maybe we could, if... Let's go start drinking, please!"

Locked Out

I knocked again, a little harder and a little more urgently. "Ha ha, really funny babe. Come on, let me in."

Still no answer as I stood alone in the hallway. I could feel my nipples fighting against the fishnet top my wife had packed, as the air conditioning sent a chill down my spine.

What if someone caught me like this? They'd see a sexy woman, all but completely naked, ready for a night of steamy passion with her husband.

They wouldn't know that this woman had never been with a man. That when she climbed on top of his stiff penis, it would be the first time she'd ever felt her vagina filled and then pounded. That when she moaned in pleasure and screamed in ecstasy, it would be from her very first female orgasm.

I shivered again, although not from the cold. I watched my chest rise and fall with each heavy breath before pounding one more time against the door.

"I swear to god, if you don't open up right now, I'm going to start knocking on other doors until someone else does!"

Mommy Issues

I stormed out of the bathroom and into our rented master bedroom. "What the actual fuck, Taylor?"

"You don't like it?" my girlfriend asked, lip curled in a pout. "You agreed we'd use my magic for a little kinky lesbian sex while we were on vacation."

Even as pissed off as I was, she was still crazy hot. I wore the same outfit as her, a bra and pair of panties, but I also wore something much less sexy: the body of my mother. "No, of course I don't like it! I don't want to be in my mom's body, PERIOD, much less for anything in bed!"

Not Again!!

Brrr, it's chilly all of a sudden. What the-- where are my pants?

Oh, hell no. Tiny black skirt... goddamn tits on my chest... and how does she have so much fucking hair??

That's three times this month, and I'm sick of it. She swaps us whenever she feels like it, with no warning and no consideration! It just makes me so MAD! I can't take it any more!!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Fair Warning

I know what's going through your mind right now. All you're thinking about is the redhead with the huge cans, stripping in bed, waiting for you to fuck her. And you're right, I do want you to fuck me. God, do I want it, and badly. But you don't know the full story. The truth is, I used to be a guy, just like you.

Something More Original Than "Fish Story"

"AAAAAHHH!!!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs, partly from losing my balance and falling over backwards, but mostly from the FUCKING FISH TAIL that had suddenly replaced my lower half.

"WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?!?" I stared in shock, watching the blue scales shimmer as my fins slapped against the side of the tub.

My best friend Patrick flipped frantically through the pages of the old book he'd brought with him. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. That should have changed you back!"

"Well, obviously it didn't! These things--" I cupped my boobs and lifted them for emphasis, "--were bad enough, but what am I supposed to do with no legs?"

Patrick's eyes darted around the room, clearly trying not to stare and doing a terrible job at it. "Just, um, stay here. I'll fix it, I promise!"

He shuffled out of the room, and I began drawing a bath. "Not like I could go very far if I wanted," I grumbled to myself. I relaxed slightly as the water started to splash around me. I even started humming a melody, before stifling a laugh when I recognized the tune.

"This may take a while," I said to myself as I slowly untied my bikini top. "Might as well take a look under the C-cups."

Hiatus

As you may have noticed, I've missed a few updates recently. I was not hit by a bus, nor was I trapped in the body of a stripper a thousand miles from home, forced to dance night after night until I had enough money for a bus ticket.

I was honestly just busy with regular life and feeling a bit burned out. I want to feel excited about what I'm doing, not stressed about meeting deadlines or posting work I'm not proud of.

That said, I'm going to step away from scheduled posting for a bit, and hopefully come back recharged with some fresh ideas. I may throw up a new post here and there if inspiration strikes.

Thanks to everyone who's stopped by to take a peek inside my twisted little brain!