Some People Just Don't Understand

"Get lost, creep."

Damn bitches. Not one of them could appreciate a good pickup line. After spending all night striking out at my usual bar, I figured I'd try the new place up the road. It was surprisingly dead, but I spotted this hot goth-looking chick getting a drink. Not my usual type, but beggars can't be choosers.

"Nice outfit. I'd love to see it on the bedroom floor." You'd think I'd get at least a grin, but she just rolled her eyes! I refused to quit. I tried explaining that it was supposed to be over the top, and the cheesy bravado was actually charming. I swear, sometimes girls need the simplest things spelled out for them. Finally, it must have clicked. She smiled at me, saying her aunt had a cabin less than an hour away, then she promised me a night I'd "never forget."

You get that kind of offer, you don't tell the girl no. We drove out, and not two minutes after parking we were rolling around naked. It was some of the hottest sex of my life. She was kind of kinky, too. She kept saying she was going to "teach me a lesson" for the way I treated women. After a few rounds, we were spent and passed out.

Unluckily for me, I never got to find out what her "lesson" was. When I woke up in the morning, she was gone. That was probably for the best though. I nearly had a heart attack when I went to pee and saw my reflection. Somehow, I'd turned into a chick! Not just any chick, either. Objectively speaking, I was super hot.

I knew I couldn't stick around. How would I explain myself if the girl from last night--Abby? Annie?--or her aunt showed up? I took a few minutes to get acquainted with my new tits and pussy before gathering up what had to be my clothes, based on where I stripped the night before.

Not knowing what else to do, I walked out the front door, heading down the long driveway to the road. A dozen questions have been running through my mind all morning, but I keep coming back to the same one: what the hell happened to my pants?