"Woooh, yeah little bro! Grab those titties!" I could kill him. I mean, technically, I couldn't, because that's not something a good girlfriend would do, but still. I'm sure he knew it.
I like to think I'm the type of guy who would always be there for a friend in need. So when my old roommate Bill asked me to meet in the engineering lab, of course I agreed.
I knew Bill's older brother Marshall, scholarship athlete, ladies' man, and campus legend, had invited him to the team's big end of season party. I figured he was probably looking for advice on how to not look like a total loser. Turns out, the party was on his mind, but he had planned a different way for me to help.
"Hey Nick, um, glad you're here. I've been working on this big project and, uh... can you stand in there? Please?"
Against my better judgment, I stepped inside what I dubbed Bill's Big Phone Booth of Doom. "So, what exactly are we doing here? This is safe, right?"
I heard him call out, "Totally safe!" A moment later, gas pumped in around me. Before I could react, a million volts of electricity shot through my body and everything went dark.
When I finally came to, Bill stood over me, looking concerned. "Are... are you OK?"
My head was still pretty fuzzy, but I seemed to have survived. "I think so. What was that, Billy?"
Billy? I'd never called him that in my life. He just smiled, seeming strangely satisfied, and helped me to my feet. Suddenly, everything felt wrong. Long, blonde hair draped across my vision, my clothes hung from my body like they were three sizes too big, and instead of being a few inches taller than Bill, I was actually looking up at him!
"Answer me, Billy!" Woah, I didn't realize before, but my voice was different too. It was so high-pitched, I almost sounded like a... Oh shit! My hands shot first to my chest, then just as quickly to my crotch. In one place I found a pair of things that shouldn't have been there, and in the other I was missing something very important. "Did you turn me into a girl?!?"
He raised his hands, trying to calm me down. "Just hear me out! Yes, that's exactly what I did. I thought if I showed up with a hot date, people might see me as more than Marshall's dweeby little brother. It's just for tonight, I promise!"
I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tackle him. I wanted to smash his stupid dweeby face in. Instead, I grinned and said, "OK!"
"Oh, by the way... I gave you some mental conditioning to help you play the part. It doesn't do any good to have you look like my girlfriend if you can't act like it, right?"
A few hours later, we walked into the party. "Hey, little bro! Where'd you get the money for an escort this pretty?"
In my head, I wanted to die of embarrassment. Instead, I laughed at Marshall's teasing and said, "Oh stop! I'm Nikki, Billy's girlfriend!"
"Shut up, you're going out with this guy?"
"Well, it's pretty new, but I just couldn't say no when he asked me out." That was at least somewhat true. My skin crawled when Bill wrapped his arm around my waist, but that didn't stop my body from betraying me and cozying up next to him.
The party was well underway already, and somebody pulled us into a game of drunken truth or dare. On autopilot, I picked dare. "Take off your top and bra!"
Everyone hooted and hollered as I went through with it. Bill saw a pair of opportunities and seized them, that sneaky son of a bitch. I may be smiling on the outside, but inside I'm thinking of every single way I'm going to get him back for this. That is, assuming he's good to his word and changes me back...
I knew Bill's older brother Marshall, scholarship athlete, ladies' man, and campus legend, had invited him to the team's big end of season party. I figured he was probably looking for advice on how to not look like a total loser. Turns out, the party was on his mind, but he had planned a different way for me to help.
"Hey Nick, um, glad you're here. I've been working on this big project and, uh... can you stand in there? Please?"
Against my better judgment, I stepped inside what I dubbed Bill's Big Phone Booth of Doom. "So, what exactly are we doing here? This is safe, right?"
I heard him call out, "Totally safe!" A moment later, gas pumped in around me. Before I could react, a million volts of electricity shot through my body and everything went dark.
When I finally came to, Bill stood over me, looking concerned. "Are... are you OK?"
My head was still pretty fuzzy, but I seemed to have survived. "I think so. What was that, Billy?"
Billy? I'd never called him that in my life. He just smiled, seeming strangely satisfied, and helped me to my feet. Suddenly, everything felt wrong. Long, blonde hair draped across my vision, my clothes hung from my body like they were three sizes too big, and instead of being a few inches taller than Bill, I was actually looking up at him!
"Answer me, Billy!" Woah, I didn't realize before, but my voice was different too. It was so high-pitched, I almost sounded like a... Oh shit! My hands shot first to my chest, then just as quickly to my crotch. In one place I found a pair of things that shouldn't have been there, and in the other I was missing something very important. "Did you turn me into a girl?!?"
He raised his hands, trying to calm me down. "Just hear me out! Yes, that's exactly what I did. I thought if I showed up with a hot date, people might see me as more than Marshall's dweeby little brother. It's just for tonight, I promise!"
I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tackle him. I wanted to smash his stupid dweeby face in. Instead, I grinned and said, "OK!"
"Oh, by the way... I gave you some mental conditioning to help you play the part. It doesn't do any good to have you look like my girlfriend if you can't act like it, right?"
A few hours later, we walked into the party. "Hey, little bro! Where'd you get the money for an escort this pretty?"
In my head, I wanted to die of embarrassment. Instead, I laughed at Marshall's teasing and said, "Oh stop! I'm Nikki, Billy's girlfriend!"
"Shut up, you're going out with this guy?"
"Well, it's pretty new, but I just couldn't say no when he asked me out." That was at least somewhat true. My skin crawled when Bill wrapped his arm around my waist, but that didn't stop my body from betraying me and cozying up next to him.
The party was well underway already, and somebody pulled us into a game of drunken truth or dare. On autopilot, I picked dare. "Take off your top and bra!"
Everyone hooted and hollered as I went through with it. Bill saw a pair of opportunities and seized them, that sneaky son of a bitch. I may be smiling on the outside, but inside I'm thinking of every single way I'm going to get him back for this. That is, assuming he's good to his word and changes me back...
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