My mom was superstitious and always said trouble came in threes. I used to roll my eyes when she said that, but recent events have made me wonder if she was right.
Today's first trouble actually goes back to yesterday. I was hanging with my roommates, Dave and Tony, in our apartment when we opened our lease renewal letter and found out we'd each need to come up with an extra $200 a month. I proposed a drink at our favorite bar to get our minds off things.
Unfortunately, Dave couldn't let the issue go. "That fat bitch probably just needs the money so she can keep stuffing her face." He was talking about our heavyset landlord, Ms. Halwell. Even more unfortunately, guess who came around the corner as we left the building? As she passed, I nearly died on the spot from her icy glare. "Think she heard me?"
Jump ahead to this morning, when I was running late for work and heard someone outside knocking. "Shit," I muttered as I saw Ms. Halwell through the peephole. Putting on my best fake smile, I opened the door. "Good morning, Andrew! I couldn't help but feel that I responded inappropriately to your roommate's comment last night. In fact, I didn't go to sleep until I baked you boys a batch of my special cupcakes!" Weird, but better than being evicted.
"Uh, thanks. Dave was just frustrated over the increase to our rent, don't worry about it." She smiled and left me holding the box of treats. "Shit, now I'm really late." I packed a cupcake with my lunch and left the rest on the counter as I ran out the door.
I had barely arrived at work and made my way past a dirty look from my manager when I got a text from Dave. <<Where the cupcakes from?>> I replied, <<Halwell dropped them off this AM. Said no hard feelings.>> A few minutes went by, and I got another, much more frantic text. <<Need you home now! Can't explain just do it>>. Ugh. I was the only one of us with a decent job, and they were doing their best to put it at risk. Against my better judgement, I snuck past my boss's office and headed back.
By the time I got home, I'd had plenty of time to get angry. As I opened the door, I hollered out, "Dave? Tim? This had better not be a practical joke!" I stopped in my tracks when I saw a gorgeous blonde and stunning brunette sitting on our couch, neither of whom I'd ever seen before. Either one of these girls could have been supermodels: leggy, toned, and incredibly sexy. Before I'd closed the door, the blonde from leaping up and hugging me.
"Oh Andrew, we're so glad you're here! We didn't know what to do, and you're way smarter than us, and you've just gotta fix it!" My brain was reeling due to a combination of confusion and this girl's lovely breasts suddenly pressing against me. "I, you, but-- what's going on?" The brunette rolled her eyes and sighed. She turned to the blonde and said, "He won't understand, just show him the video!"
The recording started out jerky and hard to follow. It seemed the blonde was holding the camera. In my brief glimpses of her, she looked slightly different, almost... more masculine? Then the picture shifted focus and I recognized Tony. The blonde's voice shouted, "Look! It's happening to you too!" My jaw dropped as a swarm of changes raced across Tony's body. His short brown hair shot out and dropped below his shoulders. His chest swelled up, starting as a vague mass under his shirt before inflating dramatically into two distinct globes. His face softened, his old features blurring into the brunette girl's that I saw when I came in.
My eyes darted away from the video to study the women more closely. "Dave? Tony?" The bombshell named Dave nodded. "What the hell happened?" He (she?) replied, "It started when we ate those cupcakes on the counter. Lucky that package showed up with some clothes, or you'd have walked in on us naked."
Putting that visual aside momentarily, the connection hit me like lightning. "Shit! Ms. Halwell gave me those this morning! I thought she was making nice after we ran into her last night, but she must have-- I don't know, cursed them or something!" I could see the terror in the feminized faces of my formerly male roommates and knew it was up to me to get them out of this mess. I told them to stay put and call me if anything else happened, then I dashed away.
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