Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I broke up with Alicia about a month ago. Our sex life was insanely hot, but I guess part of that was due to her being, well, insane. We didn't have much else in common, so I ended it.

Alicia didn't like that. At all.

She left me voicemails that lasted twenty minutes. She sent presents to me at work. She came around my house at strange hours, all in the hope of somehow convincing me to get back together, I guess. Once I accepted that she just wasn't getting the message, I filed a restraining order.

Unfortunately for me, black magic has little regard for mortal laws. I learned that firsthand when I woke up one morning in Alicia's bedroom, and also in her body! Here's a fun fact about Alicia: she always slept fully nude. I whipped off the covers, only to discover her nipples standing at attention like two little fleshy soldiers.

I panicked at first. Who wouldn't? I went to sleep as a guy, after all. Right on cue, the phone on her nightstand buzzed with a text message. I immediately recognized the number as my own, before reading:

Hey babe! I was so sad you didn't want me around anymore but I found a way to keep you literally as close as possible forever. I'm in your body and your in mine! Crazy right? Crazy like you told people I was. But I forgive you!

I could only stare, stupefied, as another message rolled in.

And since you're Crazy Alicia now, don't bother trying to tell anyone. They'll lock you in the loony bin so fast it'll make your tits spin!

I knew I had to get this sorted out, and fast. I rummaged through Alicia's clothes, grabbing the first things I could to cover top and bottom. The absurdity of it all finally broke me as I read the shirt: "CUTE BUT PSYCHO." I burst into a giggle fit, which was only exacerbated by the sound of my normal laugh in Alicia's higher pitch.


I changed clothes, remembering underwear this time. I'm no slut, after all. I figured a little makeup wouldn't hurt, either. I might as well look presentable when I saw her.

However, Alicia had apparently planned for me to visit and the cops were waiting outside when I arrived. "Miss Winters, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You know you're not allowed within 500 feet of Mr. Chapman or his residence."

"But I'm-- I just need to talk to he-- him! I promise, it will just take a minute!"

They weren't having it and escorted me rather roughly to the end of the block. With nowhere else to turn, I went home. That is, I went to Alicia's home.

It's all gotten so confusing. If I'm her, am I she? And if she's me, then she's he? I just wish he, or she, would pick up the phone. I left another message last night.

If I know my old body, he's probably super horny. God knows I've masturbated more times than I can count in this body. Even if we're not changing back, we could at least be having sex. Just thinking about him driving his cock into my pussy gets me wet.

It's just not fair, you know? If he's going to keep the restraining order, he should at least take my calls.


I sent him this picture earlier, to remind him what he's missing. My ass looks fantastic in these shorts.

I wonder if he's thinking about me today?